skewed life view

stokin' the flames of obsession, one dollar at a time

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

katrina


this image evokes for me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach...

i imagine being there would be like walking down a deserted road with only the echo of your footfalls against the hot pavement to keep you company

see the oil floating on top of the water, turning vibrant colours of yellow, purple, blue,
green...?

there is no one in any of those buildings. it's a ghost town... i think if you travelled along the makeshift venitian streets, those buildings would lean in on you, trying to suffocate you with their many vacant, glassy eyes, the way they've been suffocated by the water

if you could stand on that and close your eyes, you might get confusd as to whether or not you were actually standing on the sky... it's a backwards world, a mirror world, an accident...
maybe they should all become mermaid people, fish people, so they can adapt to their new aquatic environment. how long would it take humans to adapt to that?
natures destruction is circular... she's taking back what we took from her... that fact doesn't make it any less menacing... the innocent suffer for the wicked...
cruel...

Monday, August 15, 2005

task completed

i've realised the truth is relative.

relative when telling it might get your ass kicked... in a world where people don't know how to use their words anymore and the first reaction is violence... you don't want to tell the truth cuz you might end up with a stab wound for your troubles... i zipped it instead of mouthing of to a mouthy boy that thought just because his skin is darker he can make unnecessary comments and we (me and my other half) being of lighter colour, would be intimidated. not intimidated, just not stupid like that... because even if we did end up putting him in his intellectual or lack-there-of place, he'd turn around and do something ignorant to prove his point... which isn't really proved at all... just exclamation-pointed

those who fight and run away live to fight another day... sometimes it means you're a coward, sometimes it means you've got enough sense to know the other guy is going to cream you and you're better off looking like a woosie than taking it... i know i'd rather spend my weekend having fun than in intensive care with tubes coming in and out and a respirator helping me to breathe.

truth also hurts... so be careful who you weild that double-edged sword with because it cuts like a knife baby... cuts like a knife...

Friday, August 12, 2005

task for weekend of the 13th - a lesson in honesty

what would happen if you could only tell the truth for one day?
hmm...

interesting concept... hard for some, not so for others.

here's a trial: tell the truth to everyone for one week.

even though i do it all the time anyway... i'll do more!

today...

sometimes i feel like covering my desk in stuffed animals and talking to them all day instead of talking to my co-workers.

or playing light-saber wars with them in the hall way.

i've seen cubicle vaults, i think it would work well here... but you'd have to jump real long because the desks are wide... or maybe paint ball... or extreme caputre the flag... or potato sack races

i'd like to look at the next person i talk to and yell in their face... not for any reason, and maybe something random... my favorite lines are "do you want bacon on that?" and "these pretzles are making me thirsty!" just the way george does it on seinfeld

if i had children i'd tell them that the economy has taken a turn for the worst, so i'm going to have to let one of them go, then laugh manically as they run from the room crying.

i wanna order a milk shake, sip it, take it back and say, "i want my money back, there's milk in this."

if a cocktail waiter came around with finger foods at a party i'd like to stare at him very seriously and say "are there real fingers in those? because cannabalism is illegal." or "what's a whores derve? shouldn't we leave the poor whores alone?" and walk away

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

intimidation

it's very intimidating... to go through other people's blogs and see how much better they are than yours...

go figure.

some of us suck

Thursday, August 04, 2005

dear jebus - a sacriligious agnostics prayer

dear jebus

please give me the strength to get through this day without fucking off someone on the way to or from work

please give me the strength to answer my phone "good day" instead of "what the fuck do you want"

please offer me the ability to maintain a conscious cool when i'm hungry and haven't been able to go to lunch yet

please give me the strength not to strangle the person walking 2 mph in front of me when i'm trying to get food

please provide me with the power to restrain myself from reaching over the counter and jabbing a soda cup down the throat of the overweight fast food server who's waddling around and not giving me my grilled chicken burger

please give me the strength to deal with ignorance on a daily basis

but most of all jebus... PLEASE give me the strength to get through one more boring pain in the ass motherfucking goddamned piece of shit ass pussy smelling day without taking my own life

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

how to make an ass of yourself

ingrediants

2 1/2 bottles cheap white zinfandel
1 16 oz heavy handed vodka and cranberry
several coolers

mix.

invite a bunch of people to your house for a party. consume wine in space of one hour, proceed to vodka and cranberry. jump in pool. eat minimal amount of food. start in on coolers.

bake over night

wake up next day sure that you remember everything but have significant other fill you in on how you drunkenly told the entire gathering that their father is a racist biggot and throw the n-word around profusively. talk to friends and confirm outrageous behaviour - get informed on exactly how many breezers you drank.

hope that parents (who you live with and were home at the time) did not hear outburst and hate you for the rest of your life.