skewed life view

stokin' the flames of obsession, one dollar at a time

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

the day innocence... got cut off.

and i do mean innocence... and i do mean cut off.

yesterday, as in the 17th day of january... i took my little napoleon to the vet to... to... get him fixed *gasp*

first off... i got a lift from br's mom when she was on the way to work first thing in the morning and droping his little sibling off to school.
the driveway at the vet's is increadibly stoopid and people were getting stuck and abandoning their cars in ditches and tow trucks were everywhere. just to get fluffy and max and beasley to the doctor! people wandering around, shirts and shorts torn, filthy and sweaty with that desperate/crazy look in their eyes... you know how it goes...

anyway. we were in a rush and of course because we were in a rush the girl at the counter was taking her sweet f*ing time with the lady before me who's massive freakin black dog had something wrong with his legs.
and then when it came my turn she whisked my little angel off without so much as my having a chance to give him a good luck smooch good bye :( i was distraught. they also didn't leave with him the towel, pillow and toy i so lovingly placed in his carrier for him becuase they wouldn't let me leave the carrier.

spent the day crying into my proverbial beer, reminiscing about the good old days and how it used to be (wait he's not dead... he just can't have babies! woohoo!)... the usual crazy cat owner stuff. poor rat... stuck in a cold one by two foot cell (or something like that i don't know what those cages look like but they aren't very snazzy i can bet you that) and he didn't even have his mouse in a ball!

so we go pick him up after i knock off. and i have to wait forever because the crazy vet lady behind the counter is soooooooo loooooooong winded and it's driving me nuts. (she's really crazy i mean... this lady is island known for her craziness... she writes letters to the paper every week and does rain dances on the parlaiment lawn and stuff like that) but the attendant went to get him. he came back emptyhanded and was like... "you said napoleon right?" and i was like... yea!
i mean... what would i do if they gave me the wrong cat? sure i'd love and nurture him as my own but my napoleon!

so anyway they finally bring him out and i pay. i was expecting it to cost me like $400 or some insane ludacris amount because people were telling me it was ludacrisly expensive to get them fixed... but it only cost $65. bonus!
poor naps... he was so out of it. talk about drugged up like a mother fucker. we got him home... he sorta hung out in his little carrier for a bit... like..."yea ... mom... i'll be out when i can get the fuckin room to stop spining. stop spinning room!!"

and then he stumbled around drunkenly for a while, which really worried me. cuz he was all... one foot here one foot there trying to sniff my finger but he couldn't get his head to stay still...
"stop moving your finger! jesus christ i'm tryin to smell it man, what the fuck?!"

he was noticably angry with me cuz he didn't want me to pet him *sniffle* and he didn't really want to eat but he couldn't help himself trying to jump onto the nightstand to eat my roses. he's obsessed with the roses i don't know what it is.

anyway. he passed out on the bed for a long time and only woke me up twice this morning when he jumped on the counter and knocked my water bottle over and when he knocked the candle and glass thing over in the bathroom.

he's all shit and giggles now... thank god we only had to go through that once!

o. p.s. br got fired on saturday. it was totally not his fault. okay maybe a *little* bit his fault but really it wasn't his fault. that's a post for another day. maybe tomorrow.
here napoleon shows off this late model half completed alien illusion scarf that he just can't get enough of. notice the relaxed pose and come hither stare.
"goddamnit how many times do i have to ask you to get that fuckin camera out of my face..."
"huh... wha? what? o... you. and. that. damn. camera."

Friday, January 13, 2006

false alarm

i am happy to announce that el mariachi is not dead... he was only playing dead to make me miserable for two days.

right now he is charing himself. in the corner. where all bad ipods must charge themselves. because they are bad.

but i *love* him.

in other news:
as excited as i was yesterday about it being my birthday and all that... i was kinda disappointed. my parents took me and br out for dinner which was nice. but br didn't even get me a card.
and i was sorta miserable... it was a half and half day. and i was snapping at br a lot. probably because he didn't even get me a card. the lout.
i've decided that just to spite him, i'm going to get him a card and a present and give it to him next week on his birthday. i hope he feels like shit.

:D

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

he is dead

i keeled him.

he had such a short life... a wonderful life... but i keeled him.

el mariachi is dead... i am vury sad...

he is dead!

i don't know what i deed to keel him... but he will not turn on annimore... he is sleepin...

*tear*

in other news. my birthday is tomorrow but i shall not be celebrating because he is dead and i did it so i don't deserve to celebrate.
okay maybe a little but i'm still devestated

Friday, January 06, 2006

i am william powell

after purusing monkey's site for a bit i found a link to the classic leading man test which i took in order to find out which classic leading man i relate to. strange.

anyway... i am william powell !!

You scored 23% Tough, 33% Roguish, 9% Friendly, and 33% Charming!

You are the classic rogue, a stylish rake with the devil of a wit and a flair for mischief, and you shake your martinis to waltz time. You are charming and debonair, but slightly untrustworthy, and women should be on their guard. If married, you are simply a bit of a flirt, even if it's just with your own wife...but if you're single, watch out. You usually rein yourself in to concentrate on one lovely beauty at a time, but with you, we never know. You're an inviting partner, but there's a playful devil behind your eyes, and those trying to get close to you should know they're playing with fire. You're stylish and fun, but you follow your own course, which may or may not include a steady gal. Co-stars include Myrna Loy and Carole Lombard, classy ladies with an adventurous streak.

my what a handsome rogue...

thanks for the 20 minutes of entertainment monkey

(i think you should do this one chris ... it's fun-ish)

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

new year... same me

gonna try to be a little bit more "me" this year... in that i am gonna try not to hide what i think of as "myself" because i'm not afraid of being judged for what i am and what i like.
with that said... i'm slowly negotiating my way around some new tattoos. planning on cover-ups and some brand spakin' new, shiney, and delicious ones

also. i probably mentioned somewhere recently that i located an lys in my vacinity and the excitement was so great i was going to burst. well... me and island girl took a drive down the country to visit said lys (see fig. 1)

fig. 1

i was not impressed. first of all... it was really dark and not very inviting. secondly. it was a hodge podge of everything you could never want. trust me.
they were supposed to have 100% wool there. after some serious searching and getting caught in spider webs and scared by the plastic dolls that are just a doll head on a stick... i found what i was looking for... which wasn't really at all what i was looking for at all... i almost cried. you can't make a kitty pi out of string.. i don't care if you can felt it! they only had the lightest weight of wool. forgive me for forgetting the name of it, (the name of the weight) it's been a drunken weekend and you know that what you try to learn when you're drinking doesn't sink in... but anyway. i got it... and i tried to work something with it. but i don't like it.
needless to say i will not *ever* be visiting the lys again. i'm sad. i want wool... *stomps feet in tantrum like behaviour*

in other news. i'm having panic attacks about applying to school. literal panic attacks.
my first set of applications have been received *phew* but i got an email today saying i have to send out a supplementary application... for both the programmes that i'm applying to. there's so much *freakin'* reading on what and when and where you're supposed to send that i'm going crazy.
i'm *very* afraid that they won't accept me. br must be getting annoyed with my sporadic nuts-o mood swings- i'm talkin' one minute, balling my eyes out the next.
they want a copy of my birth certificate now, but i don't know if they want it because they have my social security number (i'm part canadian, eh)... and then there's all this talk about extra papers that you *have* to send but if you don't send them (because you already sent them and you thought that you only had to send them once but nothing is telling you that you have to send them again so you're not going to) your s.o.l because they don't send out reminders to send them...
and the programme i want to get into only accepts 150 students per semester and i'm applying as mature and international (although i pay canadian fees and stuff... they have that stipulation thank jeebus) so hopefully i'll get in by default cuz unwittingly i fulfill two of those necessary catagories (we all know they're trying to maintain an equal opportunity status quo)...
and then i worry about br not getting into his school of choice and then what are we gonna do because he's no canadian in any way shape or form and long distance relationships are *not* an option...

sigh. so now i'm going to do the tag that i was tagged (five weird things about myself) with by chris but because i only know like one or two or three people who actually blog i won't be able to tag five people...

5 weird things about myself.

1. i'm slowly developing those kinds of neurotic tics that you only get from being neurotic but i'm not... irrational fears, panic attacks, anxiety, need for heavy sedatives. i've decided that if this keeps up (and by keeps up i mean continues to worsen... like a bad rash or something) then by the time i have children i'm going to be so severly over protective of them that i'm going to send them to school in foam padding with rubber pencils and a plastic bubble. fun, much?

2. i like animals more than i like people. my ex-boyfriend, lets just call him jack ass, used to ask me if i would pick my cats over him. of course i bold faced lied to him and said no i'd pick you, but i'd *totally* pick my cats over him. animals are so innocent of evil, except for the evil ones. we're here to protect them because they weren't given the gift of reason, which in some cases isn't even a gift at all.

3. i can never be on time... which is a real problem. it really aggrivates br to no end... he's always saying "every time i say i'm ready to go you find like ten other things to do..."... sorry br! you knew it when you met me, baby!

4. uh... i can sing and pay attention at the same time. it really annoys people a lot when i do this. because they feel like i'm not giving them my undivided attention, but i am, really...i am! now, if i'm watching tv and you're talking to me, rest assured that i'm not paying any attention to you because whatever you say will never be more important than what the tv is saying...

5. i live on an island but i don't like fish. okay. that's a little bit of a lie. i like certain types of fish like salmon, tuna, occasionally mahi mahi. i like shrimp, but it's gotta be deep fried and greasy, and covered with tarter sauce (mayo and relish... mmm) but anything else? please do not give me lobster, crab, shark, conch, scallops, cold shrimp, octopus, sea cucmber, etc. dis-gus-ting.

thank you, come again!