skewed life view

stokin' the flames of obsession, one dollar at a time

Thursday, June 14, 2007

this one is for jamie who recently learned what it's like to be nose to the wind and seconds from imminent death.

all of y'all who read this here blog know i am from an island. this island is only yay big and we people are only allowed so many vehicles.

when you turn 16 in america, it's a right of passage to get a car. although it may be a death trap, it's four walls of metal and plastic that protect you from the elements and give you a false sense of security.
when you turn 16 here, you get a scooter. some of these scooters are automatic. some of them are gear. no false sense of security there. it's just you and whatever nature has to throw at you.

and when you get a scooter you get a 50, because anything else is too powerful. considering young people are really stupid, that's too much power for them. they're killing themselves on the 50s - it'd be like giving a suicidal person a loaded gun.
tourists get 50's too. they practice in the parking lot of the rental place before they're sent off on their merry ways. most of them do about 35 km/h. sometimes they careen off the road into the bushes.

when i was 16 i got a little malaguti centro in blue. how i loved that little bike...

i was absolutely frightened to ride it. i still can't figure out how you stay on it - there's no seat belt... add to that the treacherous condition of bermudian roads and the abundance of corners and curves, you've got a recipe for ignorant disaster.
but then you add weather into the mix. wind and rain. sometimes it's almost impossible to ride because the wind is just throwing you left right and center. and then the water makes the asphalt slick and all of a sudden *bam*! you're down.
this is evidenced by the many road deaths each year, a vast majority of those being young people, under 30. one of the saddest being a tourist, a mother, who was visiting with her family. i think she had a day left before she was struck by a mac like truck pulling a trailer.

so now i'm a pretty cautious rider. but i wasn't always so...

case in point:
one morning i was late for school, i guess i was going a little too fast. i got to the top of a hill. i don't really know what happened, but somehow i lost control - the bike went sideways and i went down. slid out. right on the center line.

i remember i slid to a stop but the bike kind of kept going... i laid in the middle of the road, dazed and somewhat confused, when a white van drove past. no. it didn't stop.

the woman i'd passed earlier came along and, concerned, leaned out and asked if i was okay. still shocked, i'm sure i blinked at her as i peeled myself off the pavement, and made my way to my bike.

"i'm okay, thanks," i said. i picked up the bike and wheeled it to the side of the road. i was lucky that i'd been wearing some thick layers of rain gear. i don't think i had road rash... but i hurt my hand. it was still raining on me as i stood next to the bike, shaking. also, i was still late for school.

i readjusted myself on the bike, turned it on, sat there. thought about it. sat there some more. then took off, somewhat more slowly than before.

you have to get back on or else you never will. it's like riding a horse... you work through the fear or you let it consume you.

after that, i always said to myself if i ever had another accident where i ended up on the ground, i'd just lay there and wait for someone to help me up.

and i've had other accidents. two of which i remained on the bike. the sound plastic makes when it hits plastic is something you never forget. it's louder than everything else, and it sticks with you... like a *thwock*. it's distinctive. i get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when i hear it. that, the screech of tires and blaring horns. *shudder*

the second time i ate pavement, i didn't stay on the ground and wait for someone to come find me.

i must have fallen asleep, it was around four in the morning. i'd been drinking heavily and was riding along a deserted and relatively straight stretch of road. i woke up next to the bike, which was on it's side and sputtering away.

i was in shock. complete shock because i don't remember feeling anything and i really should have. i picked the bike up and put it on it's stand. turned it off. it was pretty heavy. i picked up all my things that had come out of my bag and put them back, tossing the coolers that were stashed in there as far as i could away from me. i tried to use my phone but i either couldn't figure it out or the battery was dead.

i must of looked a real sight - i tried to flag down three cars, none of them stopped. what were they expecting so early in the dark morning? that i was going to rob them? eventually, one car stopped and the guy who got out was an emt.

he told me he didn't think he should stick around because he was drunk too, and it was pretty obvious that i'd been drinking. he called the police and gave me a towel to hold to my face. he had to tell me what to do.

i don't know if he waited, or how long it took but all of a sudden there were police officers, a fire truck and ambulance folks surrounding me. i felt like a circus attraction - did they really need all those people there? i didn't crash and burn for their amusement.

a fireman knelt down in front of me and asked me questions, "where does it hurt? do you know where you hit?" i'm sure i just shook my head in response. i heard a police officer on the phone with my mom - i'm not sure how they got their number so fast - as she tried to console her. i heard another one make a quip about how he'd pulled me over the night before because my tail light was out. where was he when i really needed him?

the officer was working through my jeans with a pair of scissors. i think it's the only time i cried.

i remember being in the ambulance, but not how i got there. it was hard to stay steady as it rocked and rolled on it's way to the hospital. the emt told me to stay awake.

i remember being on a hospital bed and shaking so badly they had to pile the blankets on to try to get me to stop. i remember the fear in my parents voices and on their faces as they watched their little girl shudder under the fluorescent lights. it was surreal.

they took out my tongue ring so they could take x-rays. i fell asleep.

i remember my dad wheeling me out of the hospital to the car, and the officer stopping us, making us go back inside so she could take my blood and test it for alcohol.

i remember waiting at the dentist's office for our emergency visit, stitches.

and i remember holding my dad's hand and squeezing it, tears rolling down my face, as the dentist poked around in my mouth.

i don't think i ever felt any pain, which is amazing. somehow, i'd landed on my face - i knocked out three teeth and ruined a fourth, i had road rash from my eyebrows to my chin, on my left knee, on my right wrist, strange scratches down my left leg. there were no witnesses so no one will ever know what really happened.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jamie said...

Yeah the one I decked was a 50cc too. I never thought about the wind factor until right now! *shudder* I swear I could feel the bike shift as I looked over my left shoulder to change lanes, and that was without wind!

You poor thing, I'm glad you were okay! Were you in the hospital long enough to get your BAC legal again?

You were shaking and you hurt your hand too. I feel like a member of the club now!

7:39 AM  
Blogger citizen student said...

lol

you have been initiated!!!

8:15 AM  

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