today...

sometimes i feel like covering my desk in stuffed animals and talking to them all day instead of talking to my co-workers.

or playing light-saber wars with them in the hall way.

i've seen cubicle vaults, i think it would work well here... but you'd have to jump real long because the desks are wide... or maybe paint ball... or extreme caputre the flag... or potato sack races

i'd like to look at the next person i talk to and yell in their face... not for any reason, and maybe something random... my favorite lines are "do you want bacon on that?" and "these pretzles are making me thirsty!" just the way george does it on seinfeld

if i had children i'd tell them that the economy has taken a turn for the worst, so i'm going to have to let one of them go, then laugh manically as they run from the room crying.

i wanna order a milk shake, sip it, take it back and say, "i want my money back, there's milk in this."

if a cocktail waiter came around with finger foods at a party i'd like to stare at him very seriously and say "are there real fingers in those? because cannabalism is illegal." or "what's a whores derve? shouldn't we leave the poor whores alone?" and walk away