skinny jeans...

of all people on earth, i know skinny jeans aren't meant for everyone... and of all people, skinny jeans weren't constructed with myself in mind. i know this, yet still... still... i had th audacity to go out, try on a pair, and actually buy the suckers. how dare i!

the bonus on that... they cost me a cool $10. yes folks, that's it. ten. count that on your fingers.

back to the story at hand. i was loathe to follow the skinny pant trend, as so many people will fall head-over-heels into these fashion faux pauxs because they're popular at the time. a lot of people don't consider their body type when they buy things because they want to look like everyone else. i know i can't wear a pencil skirt because it makes my bottom half look like an upside down pear - not attractive. i know i can't pull off leggings and a "long" t-shirt because i.just.can't.

but there it is. i went out and tried them on and bought me a pair and you know what? maybe i'm not meant for skinny pants but these jeans actually looked kinda good on me. and at 10 bucks, how can you go wrong?
they look pretty good, eh? maybe they accentuate the hip area a little too much but i'm not that concerned. i wear a lot of longer shirts to offset the size of my ample booty as it is. and i skanked about all night in my favourite new leopard print shoes, those sexy bastards. at the end of the evening i was wishing i could cut my feet off at the ankles but pain is beauty my friends. pain = beauty.

if you think i am a bargain shopper, you are dead wrong aussi. these guy just kinda filled the void for my need for these:
(click for bigger)

citizens of humanity jeans at aritzia for $238. i adore these jeans... i made the mistake of trying them on while shopping as therapy. yes... i will be dropping some serious cash on these things cuz they're so fabulous and they make me look *great*.

remember when...

it was the last day of school and you and your friends would get all excited about the things you'd be doing on summer vacation, like heading off to the beach, or summer camp, or even visiting family. you'd wait patiently all day (as if you hadn't been waiting patiently since school began all those long months ago) for the bell to ring, singling you've successfully survived another angst ridden, homework laden school year. no more teachers, no more books... no more forced physical education. for the next four months, it's all fun, sun, sand and the pleasant stupor that comes with slowly forgetting everything you learned.

when that time finally came at our school, the ties came off*, socks rolled down, some kids pulled out their sharpies and adorned their best friends school shirts with yearbook messages, while others, a few relatively misguided youth, would get so caught up in the moment that they'd toss their text and work books off the side of the ferry into the middle of the harbour on their way into town*.

so maybe this time i didn't have to wait for the bell, but those feelings of excitement i used to have at the end of the year still welled up inside as i waited for my last class of first year - it was french 201 and i went out with a bang too. j'ai passe ma presentation francaise. a -.

i made it. i survived. part of me didn't think it would happen. school's a lot harder than most of us remember - a lot of pressure to do well. being older makes it that much more difficult, as you question yourself and your intelligence constantly. am i as good as these kids? almost everyone i graduated high school with has finished university and have good jobs or are married, etc.
there's pressure to do well but then there's pressure to conform with the rest of my peers as well. it might be in my head but it's still there. what's so wrong with me that i'm not like everyone else?

but i take solace in the fact that i'm (hopefully) finally on the right path for me.

and maybe i don't get to fart around all summer learning how to make macramé vests or pickling at the beach. my summers now mean work, and lots of it. but who feels guilty for me? i've spent most of the last eight months vegging on this very couch where i sit now.

so... welcome to summer vacation everyone. two exams and three weeks from now i'll be back on my island home for the next four months, working my fingers to the bone, enjoying good food, good friends and good sunshine.

boy, did i miss it.



*maybe a few of these memories are strictly an islander thing - we had the uniforms throughout primary, middle and high schools, and some kids got to ride the ferry from school into town. i was never one of those kids because i always took the bus home, 45 minutes each way, because it was direct and i wouldn't have to wait around with the hoodlums that transfered in town.

rehab

i don't know what it is about her, but i really dig amy winehouse.

she's got that sexy, could be italian, could be greek look going on and i would love to be just like her.
if i were a guy, or even a lesbian, it might be love.

for now, lets just call it harmless infatuation...

hear that amy? let's be friends.

i should always be suspicious

because whenever something somewhat good happens, or things are running, at least i think, smoothly... something goes wrong and i'm reminded that there's no real reason i'm here other than to make other people feel better at my failures.

apparently, i make my boyfriend miserable. i guess that's because i don't want him smoking in the apartment because you know, second hand smoke and the smell and all. god, i'm a horrible person aren't i? maybe it's that i want him to help out a little more around the place. cuz... that's what happens, responsibility... you know? that's what happens when you get older. you're supposed to mature and be responsible... that and care about the person you say you care about...

why do i keep failing?

2 years

even though it feels like forever and we're constantly going back and forth with each other... we made it 2 years. what does this mean? it either means we're both really dedicated or both really effing stupid.

sometimes i think the latter...

in other news... i'm homesick and not paying attention to school anymore.

BLAH. when is it over?