remember when...

it was the last day of school and you and your friends would get all excited about the things you'd be doing on summer vacation, like heading off to the beach, or summer camp, or even visiting family. you'd wait patiently all day (as if you hadn't been waiting patiently since school began all those long months ago) for the bell to ring, singling you've successfully survived another angst ridden, homework laden school year. no more teachers, no more books... no more forced physical education. for the next four months, it's all fun, sun, sand and the pleasant stupor that comes with slowly forgetting everything you learned.

when that time finally came at our school, the ties came off*, socks rolled down, some kids pulled out their sharpies and adorned their best friends school shirts with yearbook messages, while others, a few relatively misguided youth, would get so caught up in the moment that they'd toss their text and work books off the side of the ferry into the middle of the harbour on their way into town*.

so maybe this time i didn't have to wait for the bell, but those feelings of excitement i used to have at the end of the year still welled up inside as i waited for my last class of first year - it was french 201 and i went out with a bang too. j'ai passe ma presentation francaise. a -.

i made it. i survived. part of me didn't think it would happen. school's a lot harder than most of us remember - a lot of pressure to do well. being older makes it that much more difficult, as you question yourself and your intelligence constantly. am i as good as these kids? almost everyone i graduated high school with has finished university and have good jobs or are married, etc.
there's pressure to do well but then there's pressure to conform with the rest of my peers as well. it might be in my head but it's still there. what's so wrong with me that i'm not like everyone else?

but i take solace in the fact that i'm (hopefully) finally on the right path for me.

and maybe i don't get to fart around all summer learning how to make macramé vests or pickling at the beach. my summers now mean work, and lots of it. but who feels guilty for me? i've spent most of the last eight months vegging on this very couch where i sit now.

so... welcome to summer vacation everyone. two exams and three weeks from now i'll be back on my island home for the next four months, working my fingers to the bone, enjoying good food, good friends and good sunshine.

boy, did i miss it.



*maybe a few of these memories are strictly an islander thing - we had the uniforms throughout primary, middle and high schools, and some kids got to ride the ferry from school into town. i was never one of those kids because i always took the bus home, 45 minutes each way, because it was direct and i wouldn't have to wait around with the hoodlums that transfered in town.