my...

it has been awhile...

i haven't looked around this here old blog in a few weeks...

*rummaging through old boxes, stacked newspapers, and cobwebs. finds book, blows dust off cover, replaces*

it's been really hectic in my life lately... lots of shiz going down and none of it particularly pleasant (as if shiz is ever pleasant). politics, work, relationships, life - it all gets you down.

i'm just plain tired... of it all! so much so i haven't even had the energy to hunt around my favourite blogs, although sometimes i do and they bring a much needed smile to my face.

one more month and a week left in this country... can't wait to get back to my life in the t-dot. i've got a few things to look forward to, like movies on wednesday, and my friend liz is coming down to visit for a week *yay*...

maybe i'll be hanging around here a little bit in the next few weeks, but i wouldn't count on it. i'll probably get back to my regularly scheduled blogging once i get back to cda.

until then, peace out ya'll...

international playboy

i totally just pirated this cd from a good friend of mine (thanks, j!!)... i love this band. maybe it's his immature voice - i can't wrap my head around it just yet - or maybe it's the rock instrumentals but this band... i love them!
however, i have to admit even though after first listening to and falling in love with the album, after subsequent... listenings... i've decided it seems like they phoned in a lot of the lyrics.
don't get me wrong, adam i lurve you... but there's a lot of chorus repetition, long pauses, and vocal play - it's kinda like they wrote something because the deadline came up and they were pressed for time.
somewhat disappointing... the first album was great, i'm hoping the next blows me away

Black Bush

no matter how many times i watch this, i laugh my ass off...

"oil? who said anything about oil, bitch, you cookin?"

LOL

this one is for jamie who recently learned what it's like to be nose to the wind and seconds from imminent death.

all of y'all who read this here blog know i am from an island. this island is only yay big and we people are only allowed so many vehicles.

when you turn 16 in america, it's a right of passage to get a car. although it may be a death trap, it's four walls of metal and plastic that protect you from the elements and give you a false sense of security.
when you turn 16 here, you get a scooter. some of these scooters are automatic. some of them are gear. no false sense of security there. it's just you and whatever nature has to throw at you.

and when you get a scooter you get a 50, because anything else is too powerful. considering young people are really stupid, that's too much power for them. they're killing themselves on the 50s - it'd be like giving a suicidal person a loaded gun.
tourists get 50's too. they practice in the parking lot of the rental place before they're sent off on their merry ways. most of them do about 35 km/h. sometimes they careen off the road into the bushes.

when i was 16 i got a little malaguti centro in blue. how i loved that little bike...

i was absolutely frightened to ride it. i still can't figure out how you stay on it - there's no seat belt... add to that the treacherous condition of bermudian roads and the abundance of corners and curves, you've got a recipe for ignorant disaster. but then you add weather into the mix. wind and rain. sometimes it's almost impossible to ride because the wind is just throwing you left right and center. and then the water makes the asphalt slick and all of a sudden *bam*! you're down.
this is evidenced by the many road deaths each year, a vast majority of those being young people, under 30. one of the saddest being a tourist, a mother, who was visiting with her family. i think she had a day left before she was struck by a mac like truck pulling a trailer.

so now i'm a pretty cautious rider. but i wasn't always so...

case in point:
one morning i was late for school, i guess i was going a little too fast. i got to the top of a hill. i don't really know what happened, but somehow i lost control - the bike went sideways and i went down. slid out. right on the center line.

i remember i slid to a stop but the bike kind of kept going... i laid in the middle of the road, dazed and somewhat confused, when a white van drove past. no. it didn't stop.

the woman i'd passed earlier came along and, concerned, leaned out and asked if i was okay. still shocked, i'm sure i blinked at her as i peeled myself off the pavement, and made my way to my bike.

"i'm okay, thanks," i said. i picked up the bike and wheeled it to the side of the road. i was lucky that i'd been wearing some thick layers of rain gear. i don't think i had road rash... but i hurt my hand. it was still raining on me as i stood next to the bike, shaking. also, i was still late for school.

i readjusted myself on the bike, turned it on, sat there. thought about it. sat there some more. then took off, somewhat more slowly than before.

you have to get back on or else you never will. it's like riding a horse... you work through the fear or you let it consume you.

after that, i always said to myself if i ever had another accident where i ended up on the ground, i'd just lay there and wait for someone to help me up.

and i've had other accidents. two of which i remained on the bike. the sound plastic makes when it hits plastic is something you never forget. it's louder than everything else, and it sticks with you... like a *thwock*. it's distinctive. i get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when i hear it. that, the screech of tires and blaring horns. *shudder*

the second time i ate pavement, i didn't stay on the ground and wait for someone to come find me.

i must have fallen asleep, it was around four in the morning. i'd been drinking heavily and was riding along a deserted and relatively straight stretch of road. i woke up next to the bike, which was on it's side and sputtering away.

i was in shock. complete shock because i don't remember feeling anything and i really should have. i picked the bike up and put it on it's stand. turned it off. it was pretty heavy. i picked up all my things that had come out of my bag and put them back, tossing the coolers that were stashed in there as far as i could away from me. i tried to use my phone but i either couldn't figure it out or the battery was dead.

i must of looked a real sight - i tried to flag down three cars, none of them stopped. what were they expecting so early in the dark morning? that i was going to rob them? eventually, one car stopped and the guy who got out was an emt.

he told me he didn't think he should stick around because he was drunk too, and it was pretty obvious that i'd been drinking. he called the police and gave me a towel to hold to my face. he had to tell me what to do.

i don't know if he waited, or how long it took but all of a sudden there were police officers, a fire truck and ambulance folks surrounding me. i felt like a circus attraction - did they really need all those people there? i didn't crash and burn for their amusement.

a fireman knelt down in front of me and asked me questions, "where does it hurt? do you know where you hit?" i'm sure i just shook my head in response. i heard a police officer on the phone with my mom - i'm not sure how they got their number so fast - as she tried to console her. i heard another one make a quip about how he'd pulled me over the night before because my tail light was out. where was he when i really needed him?

the officer was working through my jeans with a pair of scissors. i think it's the only time i cried.

i remember being in the ambulance, but not how i got there. it was hard to stay steady as it rocked and rolled on it's way to the hospital. the emt told me to stay awake.

i remember being on a hospital bed and shaking so badly they had to pile the blankets on to try to get me to stop. i remember the fear in my parents voices and on their faces as they watched their little girl shudder under the fluorescent lights. it was surreal.

they took out my tongue ring so they could take x-rays. i fell asleep.

i remember my dad wheeling me out of the hospital to the car, and the officer stopping us, making us go back inside so she could take my blood and test it for alcohol.

i remember waiting at the dentist's office for our emergency visit, stitches.

and i remember holding my dad's hand and squeezing it, tears rolling down my face, as the dentist poked around in my mouth.

i don't think i ever felt any pain, which is amazing. somehow, i'd landed on my face - i knocked out three teeth and ruined a fourth, i had road rash from my eyebrows to my chin, on my left knee, on my right wrist, strange scratches down my left leg. there were no witnesses so no one will ever know what really happened.

my trip to the zoo

as much as i would love to be a photographer, i believe their species is *totally* overrepresented in this society, and there's nothing i hate more than being thought of as a follower... i like things that are unique. i don't want to take pictures for pictures sake... so i'll follow things around with my little 4 inch digital camera that i can break out just about anywhere. it gets the job done, right?

hence, my visit to the zoo, with my little cousin sinder, who just turned 8. i haven't blogged about sinder's situation yet... it makes me far to angry. no no, it's nothing like he has an incurable disease or anything like that... just... you know family :s. anyway... i just really wanted to spend some time with him because he deserves it so we went to the bermuda aquarium museum and zoo (bamz), even though the weather was pretty stinky.

harrington sound...
eee! if you look closely you can see the shadow of, i believe it's a wallaby but i could be wrong.

bear cat!!

another wallaby, but this one's much smaller... and sleeping...

look how cute it is! i can't believe it sat still long enough for this...

feral peacock!!!
pretty pink birds. i probably should have taken the pic more close up... because they were such a beautiful colour...

some turtles on a log...


harrington sound...


this is my smelly friend andrew... he works there on sundays - right now he's about to go help clean out the big tortoise holding pen... omg did that *smell*... my other friend helen works at the bamz too... she gave us a tour of the slimy scaly things in the back. sinder got a real kick out of that... i on the other hand, did not.

tree kangaroo! i love these little guys... although i think they're might only be one now...*sniffle*

flamingos aren't native to bermuda... but there was one that hung around one of the ponds for awhile. i think they recaptured it and put it back with it's buddies here... i like flamingos. i guess all birds are cute but there's something about flamingos that i enjoy.

surrogate pets

so... since i had to leave the boys behind, i was forced to make friends with a few feral kitties and a dog.

this is rosie. she's the female of the bunch and quite saucy at that. i like her, although she won't let me touch her. yet.

this is one of my favourite photos, composition wise, but it shows rosie and her brother sylvester. he kind of took to the tenant and she pretty much owns him now. he's the only one allowed inside. he's pretty friendly and doesn't bite me! unlike some people i know *cough*napoleon*cough*

five seconds before i took the shot the three of them were lined up behind each other, it would have been so perfect. damn them for moving. but this shows rosie and her other brother, spikey (listen, i didn't name him okay? i would have chosen Confucius or something like that...) he's very gaunt but also, quite affectionate. i wanna feed him tuna fish and let him sleep on the couch.

this is peugeot. i think he's 8. i don't know what type of dog he is, i can't figure it out. he's like an ambiguous, amorphous dog. with lots of energy. he's like he drinks coffee or redbulls all day long. this is a rare moment of tranquility. when he's not barking at the cats or falling leaves or dust or the water... he's being cute.

like this...


cats just erupt into spontaneous fights man... but rosie's a warrior. i think she won. i dunno he was getting too fresh so she took him out.

see how alike they look in the face? it's pretty cool... they don't sit still long though...

my dad can't stand it but they're very keen on being all up on the roof... since we collect rain water that runs off the roof, he isn't impressed with little dirty cat footies tramping all over it.

i just like the way this one looks.

guilty pleasure

i've had this song in my head for the last few months...