bzzzzzz... splat!

that's the sound of my youth being splattered over the windscreen that is life...

morbid? here's the body of the text:

my best friend just had a baby! yay! she had her son! miguel alfredo moniz came into this world at 3.29 pm on september 26th, 2005.

i didn't answer my phone to get the call but i got the message... it went something like this:

me: hm... i have a message... who could be calling me before seven?
phone: *reads 1 missed call*
so i press the button
top of the list - L*
me: *immediately freaking out to chagrin of br* o. my. god. she had the baby!!!! (side bar- l is said best friend's sister and was under strick instruction from me to call as soon as something happened... i had rushed out weeks earlier to pick out the perfect "you've-finally-had-the-baby-now-i-can-start-to-spoil-it" present... although in the months leading up to this climactic moment, i have been wishy-washy on the idea of her being a mother)
*listening to message and barely able to contain my excitement and hidden fear that excitement is unfounded and am going to have to wait another week for baby or something horrible has happened*
message says: hi, it's l just wanted to let you know sbf had a ...

at this point in the message i sorta stopped paying any attention what-so-ever... even to what it was etc.
immediately i jumped on the phone and called l back for more details so i could rush to the hospital with my completely thoughtful, well-meaning present

now i feel weird... said best friend has a little beast to follow her around and grow up to be sbf's son... sigh... part of me is jealous cuz i want a cuddly little beast of my own to cling to my skirts and hide behind me... but then i think... it's going to smell and be dirty and sbf's description of giving birth is "it's the most excruciating pain i've ever experienced... like tearing yourself a new one. i felt like my ass was exploding..."

a little graphic but enough to make a person re-think the process...

i'm proud of her for making the decision to bring miguel into the world... he'll be loved and well cared for... not like a lot of the other miscreants wandering this earths surface...

anway... my current view on life is skewed in an uncomfortable way that i have yet to disect and am inable to discuss. as soon as i get pictures i will plaster them all over the internet for the unsuspecting world to see!


*l (said best friends sister) cannot be named for legal reasons and in an attempt to avoid any sticky confrontations or matters in future